Ghosting: Do or Don't?

ghosting: noun

/ˈɡəʊstɪŋ/

the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.

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Ghosting is not just a thing that happens romantically and on Tinder. Ghosting is a real thing that happens in relationships as well as well in the creative community.

Do you ghost? Do you think ghosting is the appropriate way to end things with someone else?

Ghosting is really choosing our fear of discomfort over the value of another human being. It's like we're saying, "my comfort in this is more important than you." That's not okay. It's not okay at all.

Not only is it the opposite of community/socialisation, but it is a lack of leadership and being a powerful person.

I ghost as well.

Naturally I give people many chances, I give them a long rope. I cherish relationships so I don't stop forgiving and moving on. Most times I let them know where I feel wronged or address what I think needs addressing. I accept their apologies when they give on or pretend they give one even when they don't, and move on. But then, like every one of us I get to a certain point where I can't take it anymore. I just withdraw totally.

Now here's the thing. It's so freaking easy to ghost on the internet, after all it's the internet, little to no accountability, but before hit unfollow or block that person, before going invisible, have you made any attempt to communicate with such a person how you feel? To address what you think needs addressing?

If not then you should.

But because we don't want to have difficult conversations or we don't want to be honest or we're scared to look within ourselves, we just cut people off. Yes this refers to both the one giving and the one receiving the "speech". Don't take whatever you are being called out for personally. Just understand the differences in people & perspectives.

It's necessary to jettison toxic people, and I agree that it is important you surround yourself with people that will move you forward.

But sometimes I wonder if we use these things as an excuse to ghost people, so we don't have to face them or maybe as an excuse to never surround ourselves with true community and the people who will actually call us out on our crap.

Therefore this is my call to all to put an end to ghosting and be brave communicators with ourselves, and with one another. To have the courage to know what we need. To be willing to start the hard conversations. To know that when things get imperfect, we speak to them instead of running from them.

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Ashley Beaudin's post on ghosting is a great starter for me to know how to go about addressing this, and do so in my own way and with my own words. Thanks Ash!