Find Your Kind.

I am a "relationship" person. I don't do casual anything. I love deeply and with everything in me. I have only ever enjoyed sex within the deepest of bonds. I crave an unusual level of intimacy...Physical, mental, emotional, with the people I am with.

It doesn't make me superior or better than anyone different. People have beautiful and fulfilling relationships without that level of depth. I respect this. Totally...but what I do, is I leave those people alone. People who swim in the shallows. Who believe in many humans’ connections, which make for a richer life experience. I am friends with them. They are amazing, beautiful people. But I never make the mistake of trying to explore anything deeper with them. There is a beauty to their simplicity, the uncomplicated connections and disengagement. The ease of it.

But I recognize that I am different. And a pairing with them will leave both of us gasping. Them for air. I will suffocate them. Me, for the depth I need to thrive...the looseness of their bonds will leave me constantly insecure

I will forcibly try to drag them to the depths so that I can survive. They will constantly struggle to keep me in the shallows so that they can breathe

I've realized how much we hurt people by ignoring this and just going into the relationship regardless. Find your kind. Stay with your kind

Sometimes The other person is as magnetic and attractive as hell. Know what you are getting into. And if you decide to enter anyway. Don't force the other person to change to suit you. It's the recipe to unhappiness

And be open about who you are, up front. It doesn't mean introducing yourself with "hi, I'm Tamedun and I believe in casual relationships. " but don't pretend to be anything but what you are

We know it's "Nigerian" to be looking for commitment everywhere. But I think we have all been there, suffered through it, and bought the t shirt. We are tired. It's okay to tire quickly. It's okay to have a short attention span. It's okay to crave the excitement of many. Don't force yourself to conform…Find. Your. Kind.

Written by: Yetunde Odugbesan Enendu