Before condemning people's actions, consider their intentions, that includes your family members.

Between 2017 and 2018, my eldest brother and I started having some issues. He was, still is like my father, so he had on more than enough occasions advised me on various issues of life but lately something changed, his pieces of advice doesn't just come as suggestions but most times with a little more authority which often left me with a choice of either I do or he get mad at me.

I have looked up to him all my life so I have taken his advice in time past as laws, but I am a grown ass woman now, with a mind of my own and lots of things to consider when taking anyone's advice, consequently our relationship had hiccups for a while. I understand that he loves me, he watched me grow, I was like his first daughter, and he is just trying to watch out for me and make sure I don't make mistakes, but I still can't wrap my head around the fact that he doesn't understands that I am a grown woman now.

Anyway, some months back I went to spend some time with his family and as expected his kids are grown ups now,but the one that I couldn't recover from even till now is the sporadic growth of his third daughter. She surprised me. She can do virtually everything herself, she is just sooo grown. I couldn't stop cuddling and carrying her, not because I wanted to per se ,but I couldn't just believe she is that grown.

I remembered when she was born. I got to the hospital in less than 24 hours later, and she was so tiny. Due to complications at birth, we stayed in the hospital for days, so I stayed with my sister in law. I would carry this "tiny" girl in just one of my arms and rock her till she sleep while I am struggled to keep awake myself. I didn't stay too long after her birth, but those few days at the hospital were etched in my mind and I couldn't stop comparing those moments to her being all grown up now in my head.

That was when I realized what my brother too has been struggling with. He still sees me as "his baby". Someone he cared for so much and groomed into an adult. Then having grown up listening to everything he says, but all of a sudden weighing the things he says just doesn't fit the picture in his head. With this knowledge I became more forgiving and understanding towards him. Because I am now right where he use to be too. He often says "when you were my 2nd daughter's age is the most vivid memory of you that I have. When did you grow up this much?" Sometimes he calls my age awestruck and ask when I got to be that old.

I think families are very awesome set of people, yes very annoying as well, and sometimes the mannerism of showing their love is less than acceptable, but that does not change the fact that I think before we condemn people's actions, we should always try to look at their intentions (talking of both family and non family alike).